He has everything I'm looking for, but I'm not physically attracted to him
Q: First off, I am loving your blog. Thank you for this!!
Second, I have someone I have been friends with since high school who has expressed his interest in me. He is a great guy, great personality, we connect on so many levels. He has a great job, he has drive, ambition and I can see myself building with him, he is what I am looking for. However, I am not physically attracted to him. I'm not sure if I should overlook that I'm not physically attracted to him and make things work or if I should walk away from what could possibly be my future. Thoughts...
A: So after reading your question I was so ready to tell you to move on. Mostly because attraction is important and I wouldn't want you dating someone who doesn't get you excited or that you don't want to have sex with. That wouldn't end well for you or him.
However, after some reflection, I thought about a guy that I dated for 3 1/2 years that I initially was not attracted to. He just wasn't my type. We continued to hang out and build a friendship and eventually became a couple. Over time I became attracted to who he was as a person, not what he looked liked. I also had a friend who sent me a private message recently about how she was never attracted to her current husband. She thought he was too skinny lol. It took her a year to figure out her feelings toward him and now she's deeply in love and happily married.
I say all that to say that if you think your relationship could bloom into something special, try hanging out with him more- maybe as just a friend first. You can invite him to things where there will be other friends so it's not awkward. You could also try going on a couple dates. I would just say don't rush into things. You can tell him that you think he's great, but you want to take things slow because you don't want to mess up your friendship. Or tell him that you just got out of something and you want to take your time before rushing into anything too serious.
Continue to date other people and see if you begin to see him differently. I don't want you to date him just because he looks good on paper, but I also don't want you to totally 'X' him out because you don't instantly find him attractive. You may just need to take him out of the friend zone. At the end of the day only you can decide what works best for you. Good luck!
What would you do? Tell me in the comment section!
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