Why I took a break from blogging
At the beginning of the year I promised myself that I would start off strong. I put out a couple of blog posts and even created new worksheets to add to my growing free resource library in January. And then your girl went ghost.
I want to reassure you that I’m not giving up or changing my content. I simply needed a break. I knew before I started that most blogs fail within the first year. I also knew that working full time and blogging full time would be a lot with a family. Yet, I was still determined to make it work. Below I will share a few reasons why I’ve been in and out of posting for the last 6 months in hopes that sharing will inspire other bloggers who have found themselves in a rut. Sometimes we, creatives, suffer in silence because we think we're the only ones dealing with shit, when in reality, it couldn't be further from the truth.
Life Happens
I learned quickly that just because you start a blog or a business, life won't stop happening to you. Within 60 days of launching my site, I lost 3 people who were close to me. While I probably should've took a break to just deal with death, I felt I had to soldier on so that I wouldn't "lose" my momentum or my newfound audience. Then while I was writing my first book “The A to Z Guide to Thriving in the the First Year of Marriage", marriage got hard yall. Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t breaking up but, God was definitely testing our marriage. Even though it didnt feel good in the moment, I'm sure that the lessons we learned will only make for a better read when I’m finally done. Then I started working a part time job on top of my full time job to make some extra money on the side. Which led me to feel mom guilt because once I finally got home from work, I had to carve out quiet time to write and I felt like I wasn’t spending enough time with my son. Cleary, I was wearing myself thin. To prioritize my mental health I literally had to drop all of the balls, to get back on top. So in the past 6 months, I've found a new job that is more fulfilling, put the part time gig on hold, spent more time in my therapists' office, and focused on God and my family. I'm positive that life will continue to through me curve balls, but at least now I know my limits and feel better equipped to handle them.
Social Media is tew much… for me
Look, I’m 32. I grew up during a time where we barely had the internet. Therefore, sometimes I just have to detox from social media. I’m already not a person who posts all the time. I will lurk and scroll and like other people’s stuff to death, but putting out my own content takes a lot more effort for multiple reasons: 1) I’m a “live in the moment” kind of person. I don't take photos everytime I eat, leave the house, or hang with friends. I’d rather just experience it in real time. 2) I actually think before I post. I’m a grown woman and I dont need something I posted in 2018, coming back to bite me in the ass in 2028. 3) There is some sick and twisted shit that people like to share on social media and it wears on your spirit. As a black woman it’s hard watching videos of microaggressions, racism, sexism, homophobia, and death by cop over and over again. The guy in the white house and all of his shenanigans does not make any of this easier. If I had any extra money to spend on my blog it would go towards a social media intern, ASAP. It’s hard to make a blog grow without a social media presence these days, but I will continue to push through by scheduling content at the beginning of each week.
Imposter syndrome
Some of y'all are out here k-i-l-l-i-n-g it. I mean y'all make this blogger/entrepreneurship lifestyle look easy. Being on the gram all day long had me questioning if I was cut out for this work. Imposter syndrome had me doubting my accomplishments and fearing that I was somehow going to be exposed as a fraud. I had this ridiculous belief that everything that I put out needed to be "perfect" before I hit the post button. I know I'm not the only one who has felt this way, but since I don't have a gang of blogger friends, I didnt have anyone to talk to about it. In hindsight, I should have just been putting out what felt authentic for me. For example, my mental health journey has been so important over this past year, but I wasn't sure how to fit it into my sex, dating, and relationships blog. During this period of reflection I finally had a “duh” moment and realized that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one that you will ever experience. If my blog is titled Meet Mrs. Mayweather, I should probably be sharing that part of myself too.
Fear is a bitch
Fear is the reason why meetmrsmayweather.com almost didn't happen. I created the site in September 2016, but didn't launch until May 2017 because I doubted myself over and over again. What if this website isn't good? What if no one reads it? What if no one shows up to my presentation? What if my book is trash? What if people aren't willing to pay for it? What if I'm just wasting my time? There are thousands of bloggers, what makes me so different? I second guessed myself each and every day. I don't think you ever really get rid of fear, but what I have learned is that you push through it anyway. Every prayer, every sign, every page in my devotional has pushed me back to writing. I'm glad that I took the time to sit with my feelings and become clear about what I really wanted.
But I want to be a business woman...
When I first started my website, I did it to empower and educate other women about how to achieve healthy relationships and positive sexual experiences. Then, I started chasing money. So instead of writing and simply enjoying my craft, I was more focused on what I could create so that I could turn a profit. I've learned that I don't want to live that way anymore. Instead of worrying about what people want to read, I'll write from my heart. The content that was written from my personal experiences has always been what people relate to the most. I'm confident that the money will come in due time. And until then I'll continue to work my 7-3. It's simply not fair to expect my creativity to make me a living just yet.
Taking it back to basics
So what am I doing differently so that I don't come up missing again? Here are a few goals for the rest of 2018:
- Listen to my body. When I feel my anxiety creeping in or the onset of exhaustion, I will take care of myself.
- Post a new blog once a week
- Post content that is relatable and authentic to who I am
- Finish writing "The A to Z Guide to Thriving in the First Year of Marriage"
- Launch the new vlog series that my husband and I are working on called: Meet The Mayweathers
Of course the old me wanted to add 8 more things to the list, but I stopped. There's a lot more that I want to do, but I'm going to pace myself this time. At the end of the day I LOVE creating. So I am going to create and be confident in the fact that what God has for me is for me.
***A special thank you to my readers who asked me when I was going to start blogging again and encouraged me to keep going!!!
